Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Resist Not Hate

Haters are not born, they are made.  For the most part hatred is created by individuals who are wounded in some way.  Intentionally or unintentionally, we seem to pass down our beliefs and our way of relating to the world to our youth....  And Haters beget Haters.

The fact is conscious choices take more effort than accepting wholesale what someone teaches us.

Here's what I've learned; if you come across someone who believes something you don't agree with, you won't change their mind by telling them they're wrong... no matter how right you think you are.  You know this! It's the law of resistance which states that what you resist you draw toward you; so as you resist their POV (point of view) you will only create a greater need for them to try and impose it upon you.

Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and HH the Dalai Lama have been very successful with non-resistance strategies.  But maybe you're not up to sit-ins and such..... try just listening, in fact, it could be your superpower.

Need help listening?  It's not easy when everything within you 'knows' the haters are wrong. The Urban Confessional offers excellent guidelines on how to listen compassionately.  They believe people need to be heard and that there is value in simply listening to someone.

True listening is a skill and it's not the same as agreeing with someone or condoning harmful behavior.  I think the secret is that when you listen and make simple non judgmental inquiries people begin to think and hear themselves.  Here's an example of what's possible, by being heard one young woman connected her own wounded experience to why she felt so harshly about certain people.  

Yes we need to stand for love, but standing against hate is not the way.

Let's have a conversation, I want to understand why you feel the way you do; really, I do.

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